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SHE AND HE :55 FICTION


She gazed into emptiness.

She cried.

A teardrop fell on the window sill.

*****

He was hitting the nail with the hammer.

Something stirred him.

The hammer hit his finger instead.

A drop of blood fell on the window sill.

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Comments

Nikhil Menon said…
he died? or is he on 911??
June 14, 2010 at 12:11 AM
Thousif Raza said…
you stir emotions, you know that..... a very good attempt... :)


take care and keep writing..........
June 14, 2010 at 11:20 AM
Rià said…
Aah!! Painful....i dont like the sight of blood.
June 14, 2010 at 11:54 AM
Tulika said…
Ouch :(

Metaphor is stunning.
June 14, 2010 at 2:48 PM
Priya Joyce said…
is it like...chot unhe lagi aur dard hume hua?
June 14, 2010 at 3:54 PM
Lucifer said…
ohhhh me likes!!!!!!!
June 14, 2010 at 5:32 PM
Bikram said…
did the tear and blood mingle.. was it the same window..

why was she crying :) oooh so many questions come up.. just proves how good the article is .. makes you thing :)
June 16, 2010 at 8:53 PM
sushobhan roy said…
gud one.. very well narrated.. Liked the way u tried to bring the role of destiny and fate..:) I guess if the HE part is written above the SHE part, wouldn't it sound more apt and carry a much more strong message.. What say???
June 16, 2010 at 9:38 PM
Vintage Obsession said…
I like how you put the two pieces together :) nice:)well written indeed
June 17, 2010 at 9:44 AM
Abhishek Behera said…
awesome piece!!! disconnected yet connected... weird spooky feeling this evokes
June 20, 2010 at 5:43 PM
Anwesa said…
@Thousif,
Thank you !

@Ria,
:)

@Tulika,
Thanks ! Glad you liked it.

@Lil' Priya,
Not exactly. Its a kind of telepathy I guess.

@Mayz,
Thanks !

@Priya,
:)

@ DI,
Yeah,it does....
June 21, 2010 at 11:16 AM
Anwesa said…
@Bikramjit,
Pleased to see your comment.

@Sushobhan,
I tried flipping the passages as you said. Yes,it sounded well. Maybe I'll experiment with it sometime soon.

@VO,
Thanks !!!

@Simu,
Yeah,I meant it to be 'spooky'. Glad to see that you get what exactly I wanted to convey.
June 21, 2010 at 11:20 AM
Avi said…
I think he wanted to cry too, but couldn't. He knowingly hit his finger so that the pain could trigger the tears.
July 23, 2010 at 9:33 AM
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