FranKophone

Dear You, Looks like I have found you. In the depths of my love, I notice your smile. Yes, the one you flash after that brief moment of joy. I feel your fingers entwined in mine. All the time. Your eyes speak to mine, asking me questions. Remember the first time I told you of my affection and my afflictions ? You must know this. You consume my thoughts, time and grief. Glad to have met you. Yours, Me. 

Dear You, Wasn't it the other day we met ? There was no intention apart from business. You came, I complied and it all went fine. Nobody had noticed anything odd. I still wonder why you came back. Was it me or something I had told ? I hadn't revealed any of my secrets. You had none. We met at sunsets. You told me something new each day. I merely listened, thinking that this would end too soon. You didn't end anything. I was amused. You started quite a few things. I still thought nothing. I believed I had it all, learnt it all. But then you being you, it was all too novel. You had me. Yours, Me.

Dear You, Do you know how it feels when something rips you apart ? The first second you realise that something hit you. The next five seconds your realise you are badly hurt. The next few hours are spent in agony. You cannot really cry. Tears form in your eyes - you need to hold them back. Till your vision blurs. A slight ache near the heart, or somewhere in between. Now, the head gives in. There is an excrutiating gash somewhere. You need not figure out where. You need to shout but you cannot. Or rather, should not. You need to pretend to be brave. The world will beat you to pulp once you let it know of your vulnerability. As the hours pass, you realise that you can live with this pain. And just walk along. Yours, Me.

Its humid in here. The air is heavy, or is it my heart ? I slip in and out of consciousness. I feel some frantic movement around. But it no longer bothers me. I see you - younger, smiling, happy. I try and smile. Vision eludes me and I drift to sleep. You are there - in a dandelion garden. You look at me. You say something. No sound reaches my ears. You smile and start running away. Pausing to look at me. Strength fails me. I cannot manage to move. Suddenly I realize I can run. I run towards you. Stretch my hand to you. Did you slow a bit ? I finally grasp you. It feels warm and strong. Like ages ago. I look at my fingers too. They seem to be young too. No more wrinkled,shaky and weak. I realize we are running really fast. I laugh loudly. You join me. We run together.

Dear You, I got your letter. And I hated it. Why do you have to finish it in just three words ? I feel those words even if you do not mention them every single time. Plus, people read postcards. They really do. I should tell you to eat well, dress warmly and come back real soon. You know how I am. No, I don't cry myself to sleep anymore. The garden has plenty of flowers this season. I pick them each morning. It is during the nights that I miss you the most. Just come back, soon enough. Yours, Me. Pic Courtesy : Google  

Not too dear You, I met you a couple of hours ago. I wish I never had. You were best in fantasy. Once upon a time, we saw the world in same colours. You never spoke but I understood. You were fiery and enthusiastic. I was determined and willful. Nevertheless we built our lives separately. We never tried to know each other. Maybe I imagined you as someone you were not. He loves me in his quaint way. He rarely says but I understand (just like I understood you). Or misunderstood? I was shocked when you told me “I had my eyes on you.”  I kept repeating those words in my mind all the time. Am I an object? Someone who you could use? And possibly discard? I was ashamed of myself. You were a moment’s weakness; he is my pillar of strength. No! I’m not comparing. Thanks for making me realize that I chose the right person. Not Yours, Me. Pic Courtesy : Google

Amidst all cacophony,              I still get time to make                        Your favourite cup of tea. There is no love lost,              Only I have not proclaimed                                 How much you mean to me. Your eyes search me,                 My soul is trapped in yours.                                  Or is yours in mine ? I do not seek answers,              You very well know that.                              A little more of us though.   

Bidding you a goodbye was never too tough, I shall always carry your memories with me.

Maybe someday I will miss you, For now I would like to bid you adieu. **** You were great in the memories of my past, There is no place for you in my present. **** When you left, I thought it was the end. Later I realised ,it was a new beginning. ****  Some memories are not just memories - They give us moments of sunshine amidst darkness. **** I wished I had understood - But then I would not have learnt. ****

I always wanted to walk on clear paths. But if I get lost with you in the alleys, I would love it. I always wanted to be the richest person. But if I am in rags with you by my side, I would love it. I always wanted to live a long life. But if I ever die in your arms, I would love it.

We met, didn’t we ? So what if it was after ages. You looked almost like a thorough gentleman. That was least expected. Anyways, glad to see that you’ve changed for the good. Glasses look good on you..wait, you look good in glasses. As for me, you know…. I’m the same clumsy little girl…now no more little. Haha. Yeah. I still laugh in between conversations. And I still struggle while beating eggs. But do you realize the time that has flown by ? I freelance these days . Yes, as you often said “the free bird.” Home is pretty okay, same furniture, same furnishing, same books….Our mango tree died. Last winter. I cried a lot. Now I don’t miss it a lot. Got used to. Same way as I …….. Anyways, I can always write reams about my hardships and suffering. They should not make sense to you now. Do they ? I don’t know….. Meanwhile, let me tell you… Emmy is sweet. She resembles her. I wish she were here. With you. She was fun to be with. For the short time she met me, I thought you wer...

Falling for you was tough. Unloving you is impossible . 

I do not remember exactly when I thought I fell for you. Maybe a few summers ago. All in a flash of a second. You seemed so fresh and alluring. I was foolishly young – nubile. Liable to be trapped. And we met for a brief  while. I thought you are the answer to my prayers. My longings were for you. You chose to entice me – I never minded it. It gave me a tingling sensation, a hope that we were meant to be one. Silken dreams. Our encounters teased me. I wanted more of you. You managed to floor me sans any weapon. Gradually I realized I was not alone. Several others vied you, tried to woo you. I burnt with jealousy. You seemed to love everyone alike. You knew no one too closely. But you ignored none. Two summers passed. My tryst with you continued. Everyone around us thought we were together. Only we knew we weren’t. I decided to spend another summer with you. This was unexpected. Most of your admirers had left. They were tired. A new set of people came. The stage was...

Concealed by dark clouds You keep shining. Bright streaks of light Dazzle me. Enchant me. And keep me waiting.. Waiting for you.

Remember our first date ? I walked to you in that lilac dress – with apprehension. You later told me that you fell for me then. I had noticed your jaw almost dropping  but never mentioned it to you. In one of our later dates, I caught you staring at that anorexic female with garish make-up. I was a fool then (Yes, I am a lot wiser now ). I tried to lose weight, use make-up. All proved futile. The next time we met you almost laughed at the sight of me. Visibly thinner, under inches of God-knows-what powdered on cheeks. Creepily lined eyes. After a few seconds, I realized you were laughing at me. I tried going away, crying. You stopped me. By that time, my eyes were streaming with tears. You looked straight into them and said “You do not need a mask . You’re beautiful.” I stopped crying. You hugged me. There were times you needed me. For telling how badly your Dad thinks of you. How you miss your Mom. I just listened. And yet you told me it comforted you. To be with me. And then on...

The eyes which knew nothing  but love… Are not on me today. The lips that did nothing  but seal to mine.. Are wordless today. The hands that did nothing but caress with passion… Are away today. The heart that did nothing but cherish me… Is stone today. The soul that was  entwined into mine… Is in a different world today.

The bench awaits you. No, I have not seen anyone in your place. I remember our days together. On that bench in the park.On cold mornings, after that walk, I would always throw up my hands in despair and occupy this particular bench. And you would slowly come to me. Sit close. Put your arm around my neck and start explaining. About random things. Coax me. I never relented. You never gave up. Slowly I would rest my head unto your shoulders. Put my hands around your waist as if nothing had happened. And drift into my land of dreams. Some mocking bird’s shrill voice would wake me up. I never knew how long I lived in my Utopia. And you…..would entwine your fingers with mine all the time. It felt perfect. Just perfect. I would smile. And your eyes twinkled. A rainy morning, I sat there crying. My tears mingling with the rain. You spotted them. You were my shade, my armour. Once you wrote me a poem. And I rudely passed it off as a “fling”. I could see you were hurt. Very badly....

Dear You, I would like to be the light of your life - the first thing you would see each morning. I'll be the balmy air, tickling you to laughter. The arms where you can loop in yours and be on the top of the world. The ears where you can pour all your sorrows. The eyes into which you can look into - deeply, for hours, without an end. The scent of your dreams. Your present and your future. I would like to hold your hand in ups and downs. Throughout. Cry with you. Sing for you. Always. Be yours till eternity. Just a "Yes" will do. Yours, Me.

Before you turn away Let me tell you… I smelt those flowers you brought Before putting them in the vase. I noticed the new look in your eyes Long before you knew. I saw the gift that you secretly bought To surprise me…Its not lost…Its with me. I heard you sigh when you thought You had lost me. I was apprehensive…about us… You and I seemed not so right together.. But I was wrong….You are the one. I wish I could speak…. Only to say “Yes, I do.”

I : I never see you. Yet I trust you. Who are You ? You (smiles,then looking straight into my eyes) : You really want to know ? Peep into your soul for once. You'll find me there, pining for you.