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The Soliloquy of a Sonador

Ever since you flew away,
I have been conjuring up your image.
In the midst of my thoughts,
you light up a smoke and offer it to me.
Everything ceases to be right, I palpitate.
I am supposed to be lonely as the cloud.
You make me forget the sound of fleeting music. 
In the background, a portly man laughs.
In a puff of drowsy numbness,
I catch a glimpse of your sparkling eyes. 

What are you, I wonder. How could you,
Love was it, then ? Like a waterfall in a desert ?
After that brief encounter, you vanished.
I looked at you as a figment of imagination. 
My body wore the tell-tale signs of time.
I believe I saw the best of dark and bright,
Or was it the crazy trick of reflection ?
One fine evening,you landed at my doorstep.
I was old and so were you. Beauty had
Served its purpose. My nest was empty. 
I had flowers at my feet,you were real. 

Sometimes I ponder about you. I should 
Have known. You were capable of hurting me. 
You were the nightmare I was waiting for.
Nubile I was,you played me well. Not that 
I was ignorant,I chose to feign it. 
You were the love of my life, Senhora. 
I had all the money in the world for you.
I still remember,the knife you held,
The blood it drew , the flinch I saw,
In your eyes. Irony loves to see another day.
I still wonder if it was a vision, or a 
waking dream. You still mesmerize me. 

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WAITING FOR YOU

Concealed by dark clouds
You keep shining.
Bright streaks of light
Dazzle me.
Enchant me.
And keep me waiting..
Waiting for you.

Amidst Soul-lessness

There is smoke somewhere. 
I cannot seem to figure out where. 
The lights are here, the music is here.
Has it been home here ?
Perhaps. Maybe when it did not rain.
Or maybe when it rained and it did not matter.
Maybe when I walked alone, smiling to myself. 
Or maybe when I realized I was okay.
Had it been always like this ?

Not really. 
Things clicked, took effort and blood. 
Did I do it ? Or the beasts did ? Maybe we both together,
Played this game. 
Amidst soulful solitude, it was love. 
Maybe appreciation.
Another journey, another dry spell. 
Will it ever be home again ? 

P.S. : Penned at Candies, Bandra on 11th January 2017 


All Consuming Love

Dear You,

Looks like I have found you.

In the depths of my love, I notice your smile.

Yes, the one you flash after that brief moment of joy.

I feel your fingers entwined in mine. All the time.

Your eyes speak to mine, asking me questions.

Remember the first time I told you of my affection and my afflictions ?

You must know this. You consume my thoughts, time and grief.

Glad to have met you.

Yours,

Me.