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The Sixth Birthday (of this space)

So it is here !

Sixth birthday of this place I own(That adds power,doesn't it ? ).

There is not much you can do to prolong the life of a dying person, can you ? Except of course, using an artificial life support system). Maybe you wonder why I write about death and other ugly things on a birthday (The blog's birthday, in case you've forgotten).

I'll tell you why. Because I'm scared. Scared because this blog might die. I do not write anymore, and even if I do, it is redundantly moron-ish.Like, I've lost it forever.

Before the final death knell, I would like to enumerate the good things that this place gave me( This sounds so rude and text-book-ish).

Number one, it gave me an outlet to speak in turbulent times.It is not that I suffered huge heartbreaks but I had other 'serious' issues growing up. Now I don't even recall why I was so morose at times. Number two, it improved my language skills. I wrote absolute crap when I started and gradually, over months,I created some good pieces.Like the ones I read and smile to myself. Number three, it introduced me to a different kinds of people - the good, the bad and the others. We read each others' blogs extensively, commented on posts and talked aimlessly. Number four, people who knew me before read my blog and complimented me in various ways.It was like seeing me in new light. Number five, it gave me a chance to read and understand a few of my mom's poems. I translated a couple of them and put them on a separate blog. Maybe that solidified our pre-existing strong bonding. 

The bad thing - I don't know. Maybe if I hadn't devoted as much time to this place, I could have done something more useful. But who knows. I feel its a zero sum game. You win some, lose some and the net result is almost the same.

I do not know if I shall ever be able to write here as frequently as before. I still do not understand why I do not get any new ideas to write anymore. Or was this blog-thing a phase of life and I have gotten over it ? 

I am confused. Should I be celebrating here with a cake or mourning with a wreath ?


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Concealed by dark clouds
You keep shining.
Bright streaks of light
Dazzle me.
Enchant me.
And keep me waiting..
Waiting for you.

Amidst Soul-lessness

There is smoke somewhere. 
I cannot seem to figure out where. 
The lights are here, the music is here.
Has it been home here ?
Perhaps. Maybe when it did not rain.
Or maybe when it rained and it did not matter.
Maybe when I walked alone, smiling to myself. 
Or maybe when I realized I was okay.
Had it been always like this ?

Not really. 
Things clicked, took effort and blood. 
Did I do it ? Or the beasts did ? Maybe we both together,
Played this game. 
Amidst soulful solitude, it was love. 
Maybe appreciation.
Another journey, another dry spell. 
Will it ever be home again ? 

P.S. : Penned at Candies, Bandra on 11th January 2017 

All Consuming Love

Dear You,

Looks like I have found you.

In the depths of my love, I notice your smile.

Yes, the one you flash after that brief moment of joy.

I feel your fingers entwined in mine. All the time.

Your eyes speak to mine, asking me questions.

Remember the first time I told you of my affection and my afflictions ?

You must know this. You consume my thoughts, time and grief.

Glad to have met you.