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The Sixth Birthday (of this space)

So it is here !

Sixth birthday of this place I own(That adds power,doesn't it ? ).

There is not much you can do to prolong the life of a dying person, can you ? Except of course, using an artificial life support system). Maybe you wonder why I write about death and other ugly things on a birthday (The blog's birthday, in case you've forgotten).

I'll tell you why. Because I'm scared. Scared because this blog might die. I do not write anymore, and even if I do, it is redundantly moron-ish.Like, I've lost it forever.

Before the final death knell, I would like to enumerate the good things that this place gave me( This sounds so rude and text-book-ish).

Number one, it gave me an outlet to speak in turbulent times.It is not that I suffered huge heartbreaks but I had other 'serious' issues growing up. Now I don't even recall why I was so morose at times. Number two, it improved my language skills. I wrote absolute crap when I started and gradually, over months,I created some good pieces.Like the ones I read and smile to myself. Number three, it introduced me to a different kinds of people - the good, the bad and the others. We read each others' blogs extensively, commented on posts and talked aimlessly. Number four, people who knew me before read my blog and complimented me in various ways.It was like seeing me in new light. Number five, it gave me a chance to read and understand a few of my mom's poems. I translated a couple of them and put them on a separate blog. Maybe that solidified our pre-existing strong bonding. 

The bad thing - I don't know. Maybe if I hadn't devoted as much time to this place, I could have done something more useful. But who knows. I feel its a zero sum game. You win some, lose some and the net result is almost the same.

I do not know if I shall ever be able to write here as frequently as before. I still do not understand why I do not get any new ideas to write anymore. Or was this blog-thing a phase of life and I have gotten over it ? 

I am confused. Should I be celebrating here with a cake or mourning with a wreath ?


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I cannot remember my mother,
only sometime in the midst of my play
a tune seems to hover over my playthings,
the tune of some song that she used to
hum while rocking my cradle.

I cannot remember my mother
but when in the early autumn morning
the smell of the shiuli flowers floats in the air,
the scent of the morning service in the
temple comes to me as the scent of my mother.

I cannot remember my mother
only when from bedroom window
I send my eyes into the blue of the distant sky,
I feel that the stillness of my mother's gaze on my face
has spread all over the sky.

~Rabindranath Tagore
Note : This was one of  the earliest poems I read,loved and cherished.


Concealed by dark clouds
You keep shining.
Bright streaks of light
Dazzle me.
Enchant me.
And keep me waiting..
Waiting for you.

Amidst Soul-lessness

There is smoke somewhere. 
I cannot seem to figure out where. 
The lights are here, the music is here.
Has it been home here ?
Perhaps. Maybe when it did not rain.
Or maybe when it rained and it did not matter.
Maybe when I walked alone, smiling to myself. 
Or maybe when I realized I was okay.
Had it been always like this ?

Not really. 
Things clicked, took effort and blood. 
Did I do it ? Or the beasts did ? Maybe we both together,
Played this game. 
Amidst soulful solitude, it was love. 
Maybe appreciation.
Another journey, another dry spell. 
Will it ever be home again ? 

P.S. : Penned at Candies, Bandra on 11th January 2017