Remember our first date ? I walked to you in that lilac dress – with apprehension. You later told me that you fell for me then. I had noticed your jaw almost dropping but never mentioned it to you.
In one of our later dates, I caught you staring at that anorexic female with garish make-up. I was a fool then (Yes, I am a lot wiser now ). I tried to lose weight, use make-up. All proved futile. The next time we met you almost laughed at the sight of me. Visibly thinner, under inches of God-knows-what powdered on cheeks. Creepily lined eyes. After a few seconds, I realized you were laughing at me. I tried going away, crying. You stopped me. By that time, my eyes were streaming with tears. You looked straight into them and said “You do not need a mask . You’re beautiful.” I stopped crying. You hugged me.
There were times you needed me. For telling how badly your Dad thinks of you. How you miss your Mom. I just listened. And yet you told me it comforted you. To be with me. And then one day, out of the blue, you proposed me. With a ring. “Will you wear this ?” I walked away only to come back running, to you, knocking you down.
Remember the evening you took me to your place ? I met Philander. I wondered about you. How soft you were beneath that sinewy body ! Which guy on earth takes a three legged tom-cat as a pet ? And I was in bliss. Under the spell of your charm.
It was almost then when we decided to tie the knot. And we did. I so loved those times. Listening to you on those quiet nights, my name echoing in your peaceful breaths. At five in the morning , I would spring from bed ,giving you a jolt. Those little moments of intimacy . ( Remember how playful you were ? )
Remember how excited we were while expecting Rachael ? And that ill-fated walk ? Out of nowhere, a car rammed and killed all our dreams. We were still mourning when the doctor gave us the most dreadful news. I was shattered. I told you “ You deserve happiness. Leave me.” You came near , kissed my forehead and went away. I cried. A lot. And lost senses soon after. When I finally woke up, I saw you. With our bundle of joy. While feeding me a bowl of soup that day, you told me “I deserve happiness. And my happiness lies in you.” I smiled feebly.
( Our Rachael is growing up. You are a magnificent father.)
I was never perfect.
You made me feel so.
They say only the most lucky get their love.
I never knew I was this lucky.