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SHE AND HE :55 FICTION


She gazed into emptiness.

She cried.

A teardrop fell on the window sill.

*****

He was hitting the nail with the hammer.

Something stirred him.

The hammer hit his finger instead.

A drop of blood fell on the window sill.

Comments

Nikhil Menon said…
he died? or is he on 911??
Thousif Raza said…
you stir emotions, you know that..... a very good attempt... :)


take care and keep writing..........
Rià said…
Aah!! Painful....i dont like the sight of blood.
Tulika said…
Ouch :(

Metaphor is stunning.
Priya Joyce said…
is it like...chot unhe lagi aur dard hume hua?
Lucifer said…
ohhhh me likes!!!!!!!
Bikram said…
did the tear and blood mingle.. was it the same window..

why was she crying :) oooh so many questions come up.. just proves how good the article is .. makes you thing :)
sushobhan roy said…
gud one.. very well narrated.. Liked the way u tried to bring the role of destiny and fate..:) I guess if the HE part is written above the SHE part, wouldn't it sound more apt and carry a much more strong message.. What say???
I like how you put the two pieces together :) nice:)well written indeed
Abhishek Behera said…
awesome piece!!! disconnected yet connected... weird spooky feeling this evokes
Anwesa said…
@Thousif,
Thank you !

@Ria,
:)

@Tulika,
Thanks ! Glad you liked it.

@Lil' Priya,
Not exactly. Its a kind of telepathy I guess.

@Mayz,
Thanks !

@Priya,
:)

@ DI,
Yeah,it does....
Anwesa said…
@Bikramjit,
Pleased to see your comment.

@Sushobhan,
I tried flipping the passages as you said. Yes,it sounded well. Maybe I'll experiment with it sometime soon.

@VO,
Thanks !!!

@Simu,
Yeah,I meant it to be 'spooky'. Glad to see that you get what exactly I wanted to convey.
Avi said…
I think he wanted to cry too, but couldn't. He knowingly hit his finger so that the pain could trigger the tears.

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