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UNKNOWN HORIZONS (THE CONCLUDING PART)


Continued from previous post……


The empty bed haunts me. His fragrance still lingers .He still smiles in the photographs. I wait for him to come back home. The little angel has started walking. But he is not around. Not anymore. This thought kills me. I feel as if he would come out of the blue and cry," Surprise ! " and chukle with his dimpled smile. I so wish he were here- supporting his Shweta on her feet. How he loved being with her !

I was in my second trimester. Tushar complained of constant headache and double vision. I initially brushed it off saying ,"Its time you take to glasses”. But things didn’t improve. The MRI scan report was a bolt from the blue. “Raj,what is the prognosis ?” I demanded. He made me sit and asked me to calm down. He began,"I think we must immediately start the treatment. In fact right now. Bhai, get ready for a surgery.” I interrupted him ,"Raj, give me the prognosis”. He replied, without mincing words, “ Boss, you need to be strong enough. Bhai, make her comfortable.” Raj said gravely," Its glioblastoma multiforme.” My mind refused to register the words and I was engulfed in darkness.


I woke up with a shriek. Tushar was diagnosed with brain tumour. It had no cure ; it was only a question of time. He underwent palliative surgery as soon as I regained consciousness. Raj contacted the best neurologists and they came to help immediately. Tushar had only four months time which could prolong to seventeen months. Shweta Foundation was well equipped to handle Tushar’s case. I consulted the busiest practitioners in the US but they repeated Raj's words . I cried a lot, fought against myself and finally, conceded defeat. Tushar was dumbstruck for a while. But I guess the cause of his anxiety was not his illness. He wanted to see his child. Caress and fondle the baby. He did not want to die before seeing his baby. I could sense all this. At that moment it dawned on me that I should live a lifetime in these four months with Tushar and my angel, growing within me.


So I became oblivious to the bitter truth of the moment. While Tushar was undergoing radiotherapy and chemotherapy sessions , I sat outside , cherishing the boon of motherhood. I’m still amazed by the courage I displayed. I wanted my angel to bring light into our lives. Somewhere deep down there was a feeling that all this is a nightmare and will end soon. I enjoyed these short periods of joy for my baby and of course Tushar. It seems he too, thought similarly. We spent all our day together, chatting happily, reading jokes, solving riddles and praying together. Never did he let me get the feel of the grief that lay ahead. It was the last stage of my pregnancy when Tushar’s condition began to detoriate. He was becoming forgetful, feeling weak and nauseated. I was mostly confined to bed. Anita was of great help in those troubled times. She stayed with us. Raj too did a lot to make both of us comfortable.

My angel finally arrived. On a cold night.She had a striking resemblance with my Di. I could see tears brimming in Tushar’s eyes. He named her Shweta. My Di was back. In my arms. The only perturbing fact was – I would lose Tushar soon. It was magical for the next five months. Tushar showed tremendous improvement. It seemed as if he was fit as a fiddle. He played, cuddled and spent a lot of time with our bundle of joy. I thought God had answered my prayers. A miracle was in sight ! I cannot describe how elated I was.



But that was not to be. One fine day, my Tushar forgot my name. He could utter only one word- Shweta. Convulsions and seizures rocked his body. I was shattered again. The alternate swings between hope and despair threatened my body and mind. Eventually Tushar was put under complete bedrest.
It was a rainy morning. Shweta was nine months old now. Everyday she played with her father in the hospital. Tushar looked thin and emancipated. He had lost that glow. What remained was his innocent dimpled smile. I came in drenched and placed Shweta on his lap. As I turned to go,he held my hand. I looked back. His eyes were fixed on me. He seemed to recognize me-an incredulous smile slipped from his lips. I sat near him. I saw a tinge of emotion on his face that I could never recognize. I felt his warm hug and an affectionate kiss on my forehead. He said incoherently, "I’m sorry. I love you.” I was speechless. All my reflexes came to a standstill.

His last words still echo in my mind,"Now she is your responsibility.” Then he went away. Far away. Never to return.
*****************************
I miss him a lot. He has gone but his memories cling to my soul. I am yet to discover those unknown horizons where our spirits would mingle forever...........

Comments

яノςんム said…
OMG!!
it is breathtakingly outrageous.. brilliant brilliant!!

how symbolic.. she is your responsibility now..

i loved tis piece.. but but but.. i dun like sad endings.. :(
Mayz said…
i got tears in my eyes...n m not kiddin...d last line jus "she is your responsibility now" was jus superb...

i've alrdy told ya this is without doubt d best fiction i've read on any blog so far

u deserve a standin ovation for this
Phoenix said…
SUPERB!!

what a befitting end....i so loved it... i loved the way you handled the storyline..

this is by far your best... i simply loved it! :)
Diya said…
They have described what you wrote! I fought back tears... How did you do this? AWESOME!
"She is your responsibility now..."
The Pink Orchid said…
wow! girl.. i am speechless.. gosh!!
Arv said…
wat an ending... awesome :)
Hemanth Potluri said…
sis u made me have tears now...it was awesome ending..just loved it :)...

urs..hemu..
Ria said…
god....why why such a sad ending!!i cried, i really had tears in my eyes when i read this post.
Sarsij said…
hi!
quite recently I got to read your posts, and this entire set was read in a single go.
Must say, you are someone very strong with-in.

Keep writing.
Aditya said…
wow!
you almost made me cry. I visited your blog forthe first time today and i am already becoming a fan of yours.
From the first line of PART I till the last line of the story i couldnt move. Hats off to you ma'am.
ANWESA said…
@richa,
thanx a lot!
sumtyms happy endings elude us...
ANWESA said…
@mayz,
i really dun hav any words 2 say..
thanx 4 reading!!
ANWESA said…
@phoenix,
thank u dear!!!i'm so glad u liked it...:)
ANWESA said…
@diya,
i guess it just happened....
thanx 4 reading dear!!!!
ANWESA said…
@the pink orchid,
thanx dear!!!
ANWESA said…
@arv,
thanx........
ANWESA said…
@hemanth,
thanx a lot!!!!!it means a lot 4 me 2 hear these kinda words...
ANWESA said…
@ria,
i really dunno y i wrote like this...i too grew a bit senti at times..i really dunno y...
ANWESA said…
@sarsij,
welcome 2 my blog!!
thanx 4 reading...

*Must say, you are someone very strong with-in.
u might b rite...
ANWESA said…
@aditya,
welcome 2 my blog!!!
thanx a lot 4 reading!!!
i'm glad u liked it...
just simply awesome.....
my throat choked with teary feelings....

kudos....
Chriz said…
i cried after a long time..

call me a cry baby.. i dont care.. bloody brilliant
well i literally have tears in my eyes anwesa, its throughly brilliant, and the most touching story i have ever read, the line "she is your responsilbilty, now" literally made me weep, its creativity at its excellence,

brillant, awesome, great,wow, excellent.........

man, i am running out of words, very very very very good anwesa


well the suprise i was talking about is in my blog, do visit, hope you like it ;)


take care and keep writing......
Leo said…
breathtakingly brilliant, even if outrageous! :)

beaatiful anwesa! :) :)
Kido said…
Anwesa di, the last line was brilliant... Just brilliant... You're just too good :)

Kudos!!!
Love
Kido :-x
Mampi said…
beautiful, poignant,
just finished reading all the parts of the story.
very beautifully and crisply written.
Priya Joyce said…
this was like watching..a movie..and sitting in the theatre and crying...
ahhhhh this was one superb work i read in this blogsville

:)

u shud try to publish ur works dear

this simply rocked...

:)
ABHISHEK SiM said…
don't know when that tear gave away...
ANWESA said…
@daydreamer,
thanx a lot 4 reading...
ANWESA said…
@chriz,
*cried after a long time..
ru serious?i just dun beliv it...
ANWESA said…
@thousif raza m b,
i dun think i'll ever b able 2 tell u d amount of joy u'v given me...i'm glad dat u liked d post.
n dat ncourages me a lot..
i better not say anymore..coz literally words fail me..
ANWESA said…
@leo,
*breathtakingly brilliant, even if outrageous! :)
a mixed reply i guess...
thanx 4 reading...
ANWESA said…
@kido,
i guess dats my fav too...
thanx dear!!!
ANWESA said…
@mampi,
thanx!!nice 2 c u here!!
ANWESA said…
@lil' priya,
one de,i may....
luv ya...
thanx 4 reading!!
Harshita said…
Hi Anwesa

You know I have been planning to read this whole series at once for almost a week now. Par ho hi nahi paaya. Aaj in between my meetings I read the whole story from Part 1 to 5 and I am so bowled over by this story too.

Pata nahi tum log yeh jaadu kaisey chalaatey ho.. the stories look so real... :)

Bahut Bahut amazing yaar... And I think I took the perfect decision that I read it all in one go.. the impact is stronger on me.. beautiful yaar.
ANWESA said…
@abhishek sim,
i guess i dun hav 2 say anything...
Cяystal said…
The last three lines..just perfectly woven!!!..=)
I haven't been here since some posts and missed a lot..and every post I went had 'continued from the previous post' on it..had to go really back!..sorry bt I read the 1,2,and 5th properly..:(..skimmed through 4th and 3th..
bt anyway..what I interpreted..tis PERFECT!.. and specially this-->
I miss him a lot. He has gone but his memories cling to my soul. I am yet to discover those unknown horizons where our spirits would mingle forever...........
Lovely! =)
ANWESA said…
@harshita,
*Pata nahi tum log yeh jaadu kaisey chalaatey ho.. the stories look so real... :)

mayb coz we're blessed wid readers like u :)
ANWESA said…
@crystal,
tho i wud have been happier if u had read all parts,i'm glad dat ur honest.keep it up!
hmm..maybe dose lines r closest 2 me too...
ANWESA said…
@pari,
cudnt help it dear!
Rocky said…
I am out of words Anwesa
You are simply superb.
The words and expressions used are amazing.
*Standing Ovation & Applaud*
Loved the ending too...
sometimes you have to face reality than believe in miracles.
KUDOS girl.
Very well done.
If there's anything that I could give you, I would love to offer you anytime
ANWESA said…
@rocky,
hey thanx!!!long tym,eh? hmm..4 d tym being,just keep reading my blogs..lol..
Rocky said…
Yeah... very long time indeed.
Have been out of the blogging world for more than a month I guess. I am unable to fix upon a topic on which I can write :(
And yeah, not just for the time being, will keep reading your blog as long as you are writing it :)

Do suggest me some topic na.. please :)
ANWESA said…
@rocky,
nvr mind,its alwez better 2 b late dan nvr :)mayb u cud write abt sum real life incident or even try ur hand at acrostic or even fiction...
Tara said…
Wow Anwesa! You have left me spellbound! Completely speechless! *stands up for an ovation*

Kudos girl, so when's your book getting published? :)
ANWESA said…
@tara,
thanx dear!!!:)
i'll inform u abt it :) :) :)
*a zillion smiles*
Keshi said…
awe-inspiring Anwesa! utterly so!

Keshi.
ANWESA said…
@anil kant,
thanx!!!!!!!!
ANWESA said…
@keshi,
thanx dear!!!
rabbit said…
so touching...

nice as always

tc n hugs
ANWESA said…
@rabbit,
thanx n tc...
AD said…
amazing, heart crunching, beautiful!

i am runnin outta breath!
ANWESA said…
@AD,
thanx dear!!!
This is really very good work of words. The postis very impressive and has the shades of emotions which are expressed beautifully..

Congratulations for this post..

still I have tears .....

Pls visit my blog for my new poem .

http://poemsofvijay.blogspot.com/2009/05/blog-post_18.html

Regards

Vijay
ANWESA said…
@vijay kumar,
it was pleasure havin u on my blog.
hope u'll visit here frequently in future...
Beautifully ended...

That was the most unexpected thing i could think of..

Cheers
ANWESA said…
@mahesh,
thanx!!
i'm glad d story went down well wid my readers.

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